I'm a warrior...

Taking a break from studying psychology, which I am thoroughly screwed for...*shrug* life goes on...I was talkin to big simon tonight and the topic of our discussion was "Warriors, Workers, Whiners and Weasles"...its this book that he read recently and it basically tells you what kind of person you are..well..what kind of person each of those categories is, and you just put urself underneath one of them on your own time...so for example..a Whiner is the type of person to bitch and complain, but never do anything to help the situation...for example...a person that says "omg this is so boring..", while never making a suggestion as to a more entertaining activity...and simon told I was, without a doubt, a warrior...and that got me thinking...I'm a warrior...I wasn't always this way...in fact...now that I think about it..I'm the exact opposite of the person I was when I was little (I'm almost 20, I can say "when I was little")...when I was young I wasnt really liked by many..I had a sarcastic attitude, a distrusting demeanour, and I gave off the impression of somebody that couldn't really be relied upon...to keep a secret..to keep a promise...I was an introvert...and I didn't really stand out except for the fact that I was the shortest one, which was cause for many-a-name-calling...short-stuff...scrawny...scraddly (that was a good one)...

...and I dunno...when I look back..and then compare myself to the way I am now...average height (sort of)..very outgoing...very extroverted...I'm not the sarcastic ass I once was...people can come to me with their deepest darkest secrets and know that I'll take it with me to the grave...people can confide in me..and I'm truly honoured for that fact...the friends I have now, are truly sumthin else, to have stood by me through everything that's happened...and for the friends that will have foresaken me...through indifference, through pursuit of their own happiness, through lack of empathy or understanding, just know that I love you...and in the river that is life, ur just going with it...ur in a different part of the river than I am..you cant see the world through my eyes...so just continue doing your own thing..no hard feelings...

...and to my enemies...enemy is such a strong word...to the people I care nothing about (I care about strangers more than you people...thats right..a stranger's death hurts me more than yours)...just know that the happiest moments of your lives were the most painful and agonizing of mine...and every smile you all wore on your smug faces was the result of my suffering...

..where was I?...oh yea....I'm a warrior now...I wonder what I'll be in 10 years..maybe by then the weight of the world will have crushed my spirits...or maybe I'll get exactly what's coming to me...in a good way of course...

This summer I think I'm going to go to Australia...and..not come back...not for a very long time...4 months is a very long time in my books...well actually 4 months can fly on by..or every second can seem like an eternity...I'm hoping every moment will seem like eternity, except in a good way...

I've finished my masterpiece of theatre...the best play I've ever written (plot-wise, magically and technically)...and it will performed next year, when it is cast...my blood, sweat and tears went into this piece..and I hope that when it's finally put on, that fact will come through to the audience...

I'm a warrior...

I still remember those summers that lasted so long...

Waiting for a knock on my door to wake me up from my dream and cast me into another..

- Shawnathan