And now here I am...

I can't even think of a reason as to why I'm blogging right now...I guess I don't feel like doing much of anything else right now, so why not waste my time blogging...

Life? I'm a determined little guy right now..that's pretty much all there is to say about that...all I do is study and do magic, and maybe go to the occasional party...I'm on the verge of something great right now....something great...I can feel it...but at times, just feeling it isnt enough and this would be the cause of my mood right now. Sometimes I want to be able to touch it, to hold it, to physically feel what the unattainable is...There's so much riding on my success in both school and magic and at times its just..so..daunting. Drama...my god...I'm in love with acting, and the stage, more so than ever before...My one acting class makes Waterloo bearable when I just feel like leaving this farmland behind...I feel..alive...I can't even describe it...we're learning all this stuff about Emotion Memory, and drawing on your own past experiences to fuel the emotions of your characters, and we have to observe total strangers in a public place and mimic their traits and characteristics...it's amazing stuff...I don't know why I was in engineering to begin with...

Love? None to speak of. I've stopped caring...being very goal oriented does that to you...I suppose magic and acting are my passions in life right now...but I sure do miss what its like to be enamoured by somebody...its not the kind of thing you just look for tho...

Magic? My god...they couldn't put more pressure on me to succeed...So I have a show coming up at the end of March called "Illusion and Intrigue" and I've been trying to get a venue to do it on campus, and I think I'm going to be doing it Hagey Hall, Rm. 180...it's going to be amazing show...it has to be...FEDS, and the fucking University, are using MY show to gauge the public appeal of magic on campus...In essence, based on the success or failure of MY show, they can see just how much attention they should give this kind of thing...but I beleive I have the one-up on them because I'm 100% sure that I can sell out the first two nights right off the bat thanks to my former Systems Class, my current Drama Class, the Scarborough people, and any other randoms that I've managed to impress in Waterloo (which are growing in numbers)...I plan on doing a new show every term, and 2 new shows every summer...I managed to make a plan for the next 4 years in terms of magic...and it is as follows:

Illusion and Intrigue - End of March 07
Illusion and Intrigue - Summer 07 (Find a place) (while writing new show)
The One Man Show - Summer 07 (while writing new show)
The One Man Show - Fall Term 07 - End of November (while writing new show 2)
New Show - Winter Term 08 (while writing new show 3)
New Show - Summer 08
New Show 2 - Summer 08 (while writing new show 4)
New Show 2 - Fall Term 08 - End of November
New Show 3 - Winter Term 09 - End of March
New Show 3 - Summer 09
New Show 4 - Summer 09 (while writing new show 5)
New Show 4 - Fall Term 09 - End of November
New Show 5 - Winter Term 10 - End of March
New Show 5 - Summer 10 (while starting Life is But a Dream)
Life is But a Dream - Winter Term 10 - End of March

So pretty much, I do every show twice..once in Waterloo, and once back in Toronto...I'm so dedicated right now...its incredible even to me...I spend 2.5 hours everyday on magic now...no exceptions...if I miss a day, I make up for it on the next day, or the next...I've let it consume me...sounds melodramatic I know, but its true...1 hour is devoted to rehearsing for my show this term, 1 hour is devoted to learning new material for my stage show (which, upon mastery, will raise my price from $400/show to $600/show...and increase the length from 1 hour to 1.5 hours...I can read minds now bitches!)...and the other 30 minutes it devoted to memorizing my script...so clearly my time is limited...but hey..nothing I can't handle..

...in sticking with this schedule I still managed to study enough for my Psych test that I finished it in 15 minutes...haha...so funny...everybody in the class just turns to me when I say I'm done......and it's not cause I'm an idiot and didn't get it...I pulled an 86% on that hooker of a test...I finished so fast cause multiple choice is a joke..an honest to god joke...if you people want to do well on multiple choice, just use this study method...20 minutes strict concentration on the material, followed by 20 minutes of enjoyable fun (do whatever, have sex or something, 20 minutes is enough for a quickie, if you discount foreplay)..and then repeat....sure...you get half as much studying done, but it's all gold...sheer gold....here's the way I figure it works....with this study method, you are just reading, not memorizing...Multiple Choice works on the principle of recognition, not recall...if you can recognize the answer, then that's all you need...

...anyway that was a big random tangent...back to Magic...I have a show coming up Mar. 3...a 25th anniversary...that should be fun...I just did Nick's Comedy Show, tried out some new material and it worked well, I was very pleased....and Nick was great as usual...among my new material is the following illusions:

Contimental
Khan Artist
The Mockingbird
Kurotsuke
Divine Write
Psign
Bill Switch
Rose Appearances
Addition to Card to Pocket
Business Card Gaff Trick (Theif)

I don't expect anybody to know what those are...but just know that most of those are Mind-reading illusions, save for the last 4, which is new walk-around material...magic soothes me...now more than ever I suppose...

I'm 90% sure I'm heading to Australia this summer...my grandmother just got put into a home, so it's imperative that my family goes this year to see her...I don't know how long I'll be there, cause I mean, I have friends there now, and I have relatives there obviously, so the option of staying there indefinately is in the cards for me...my financial situation is alright, I've decided to take every penny from OSAP I don't spend on tuition and rent and put it into a savings account...I figure when I graduate I can pay off most of my debt right off the bat...but oh well...I've decided that magic will cover all luxuries in my life...if I'm going to get serious...I'm going to get real serious about this...I'm an entrepreneur, time to start acting like one....

I'm never going to get away from the past, by living in Waterloo...I know this...this term, above all terms, has shown me that karma has worse things in mind for me haha....take life in stride...that's all...in the words of NaS: "concentrate on good things man, good times"...and in the words of my room mate Leon the Wise a while ago: "Shawn...one friend to another...let go...and stop being a little bitch"...haha...I love Leon...and he's right...and I have stopped...and now here I am...with a smile on my face...

Life is nothing but a beach chair ladies and gentlemen...

I'm going to take this magic thing to a whole new level, just watch me...just you watch me...I dream of greatness...

- Shawnathan