Random Events

Dr.Mah:

Before I begin, I thank you sean for the support and for the editing of my essay. I also would like to thank Nick,Red,Sean,Chero,Michelle,Steven,Alvin, And Sandy for helping me edit my essay. I would also like to thank Chelva and Jo for effort =P...

So its been a while since I've blogged, like a REAL blog.. not lyric blog but thats because I've been pretty damn busy. So shall I start off my crappy week on monday?.. On monday what happened was that I got my calc quiz back, in which i studied for like 7hrs for, and it didnt really help -.-!...

Tuesday I got my Chem test back.. and well I'll be frank, if I didnt have that ONE dream I'm chasing.. I wouldnt be here now... be here blogging that is.. *shifty eyes*..

On wednesday.. well that was my good day.. I got a couple marks back.. nothing below 90.. so I was content. Went home, took a little nap.. GOD I LOVE NAPS, and did some studying and some hwk. I went on around 2am and i saw nick online. I started to talk to him and asked him for suggestions of how i should start off my scholarship essay. I asked him what does he think of when he hears the word Leadership, all he did was smile and typed SIMON MAH, hes such a swt heart HEEEEEEE ^______^, So i said it was badass and i asked him how i should add it in. Before he replied I typed 'When one hears the word leadership what would one... etc' and when he replied his msg was ' When one hears the word leadership what would one ..etc...' I SWEAR TO JESUS that that happened.. and all we did was laugh...this proves that Great minds think alike ^_______^.

Thursday was the dance and the day I found out that Charlotte had a pimple on her shoulder....eww.... and it was pretty fun (the dance that is). Chev and Erf did a pretty badass job, I'm just not down with dancing and it was obvious when all i did was just stand there while my friends were dancing.. Shawn saw this so he leaned over and said "You know.. it wouldnt kill you to losen up.." All I did was give shawn a small grin and just went off to see if I could help out with the dance. During the dance I saw a good friend of mine that i havent seen for ages, Jenn, I saw she was doing better because she made me slow dance with her.. I told her that I dont dance but she wouldnt take it, so we danced and she said was good on my feet.. I had to leave early to study for my chem quiz that was on the next day. I went home, eat some food, took a shower and just layed in bed for a hr just looking at..well... nothing i was just blank, it was like sleeping with my eyes open.. So i got up at 11:30, did some chem did some other work and went down stairs to finish my scholarship essay.. I went on and I asked red to help me... and red did a badass job at that.....So I finished my essay and went to study some more.. When i finsihed everything I went to sleep at 4:10 perhaspe?

Friday was a BLah/Meh/GAh day.. Chem I did my quiz, did bda. but theres some improvment.. Went to calc... and omg.. some people in my calc class are baka assholes, including myself, all my teacher is trying to do is teach us some calc, even though hes not good at that, and all the class does is just chatter away. On that day i was being a good student ^.^ and i did some review work while he was teaching.. but SIMON!!! TSANG WAS A BAD BOY.. he was talking talking talking and he got kicked out of the class... =X.. Deng tried to defend him by going 'He was just helping me with this question sir..' but it didnt fly.. So I had food next and we were cooking muffins. As always I took charge as the top cheif, even when I was in the dish washer position, and thus our muffins turned out amazing, as always. When my group was eating the muffins..

I said 'Oh save me one or two, I gotta whip one at Krishna'..
Simon just looked at me and said..'..Krishnas not here today..'
So I was like '..damn should made these muffins yesterday..'
and Simon just looked at me like was being a moron and said 'Dude.. he hasent been here for the whole week'..
Me: =It was funny/sad how I didnt know..SORRY KAKA >___________<
Then we had drama, today we shared the drama rm with the grade 11's because the other rm, rm 101, was being used by BAKA SAC.. I call them bakas because I dont like sharing >.>...so yea she saw Shawn,Shellys play, and JJ,Nicole,Magz, and Justins play, and two other grade 11 plays, which by the by werent too bad..(they were good) But I didnt get to see much of it because i spent the whole drama class in the office working on my Scholarship while Mr.Mac was writing my refrence letter..omg.. if you need a refrence letter, you ask the Big Mac for it.. he writes the best.. Him,Palmer and Koshinas write the most badass refrence letters..
Well Nick (Koshinas).. he writes Funny ones like.. for example for my SOS refrence last year all he wrote was "All the grils will love him".. He wasted one whole sheet of paper for that..-.-.. but I'm not gonna complain, since I'm in SOS now =P
So afterschool I went home and got ready for work.. I went to work where i found out that one of my managers had to go into surgery, To get his apendix (Blah splet it wrong), well to get it removed.. It was only one Managaer 2 waiters, and 4 cheifs.. and onfriday we usually have 5-6 cheifs, so because of that I had to stay longer. I didnt mind staying really, I mean.. what did I need to go home for...hm... It was kind of depressing come to think of it.. but then Julie called her bf ,Sam, and I talked to Sam for a little. It turns out that he did fairly bad in chemistry when he was in grade 12 as well, and now hes attending my dream University, Western, so that made me more at ease with myself. I mean Sam is, dare i say, one of the brightest i know, and I wouldnt say I look up to him, but I would say that I would mind turing out like him.. excluding the dating my sis part..-.-.. So I worked from 5 to 11, which means that I worked for 6hrs which also means that i worked more then i spelt that night. 6 work : 4 sleep. Went home, watched some telly, and slept at 5am

Today I woke up at around 12 and I went to get some Dim sum..with Ju, and my mom. After that we went to go buy some food for tonight and then went to woodside. At woodside I saw Sarah (Shawns Sister) and BiBi (Shawns mother).. I said hi to sarah, but Bibi said hi to me, which was pretty unusal because i didnt know that se knew my name.. So it turns out that they were going to food basics as well so I took my sis's cell and called shawns. I tried to make it sound like I was I stalker stalking his sis and mother but I just couldnt keep a straight voice. After shopping i went home and here we are. I talked to shawn about why i called him and he, as always called me a sicko..-.-.. and he nagged me about sleeping for 8hrs a day..>.>

OH...but last night I had the most crazy dream..Everyone...well EVERY GIRL i had a crush on or that i've dated, or I thought were hot (girl as in people i know, not celebs) was in my dream.. and NO! it WASNT sexual.. if thats what you were thinking Shawn,JJ,Nis,Jo, >.>.. but yea.. it was very informative.. it was basically me going around school and those were the only people in school... And time in and time out as much as i want to be with the girl I'm talking to.. there was only one girl that 'my heart' belonged to...It was a bitter/sweet dream.. It made me realize who was truely important to me, and who would just always stay as my close friends.. I had something like this before and i remeber that i told Jj and Shawn about it.. and I remember shawn saying 'Thats wicked.. its like time and time again your heart is being true to .....'

....indeed...

"I Thought She Knew" (Ballad Version)

She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew

She said I took her for granted
Last thing I would do
Oh I'll never understand it
'Cause I thought she knew

I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burns for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we're through
I'd sell my soul to have this silence broken
Oh I thought she knew
I thought she knew

I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burns for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known

She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew
I thought she knew


...Dr.Mah

Random thoughts..

So today I will hopefully get to go to the magic shop to pick up the last few things for my show...stupid brother took the car to go to work...what an asshole...he bought his own car, only to end up using my mom's....great planning right there....

I saw Amy yesterday for the first time in a week...it was so wicked...and Im seeing her tmr..and then again next friday...3 times in a week...thats SO wicked...thats the way it should be...oh well..sometimes in life, you gotta play the hand your dealt...

Speaking of hands being dealt, w3rdna (Andrew) lent me Gattaca, which is by far, one of the greatest movies ever made...*tear*...i recommend it to everyone...watch it and u'll see why i said "speaking of hands being dealt"...

After the shop today I plan to go Nicole's little b-day soireé (pronounced swa-ray)...which should be fun..lots of people are going..and yea...i was talking to merin..and she agrees with me that our grade is really lame when it comes to house partys...this would be...the first one..of the year i beleive...haha..

Campbell had its first dance on Thursday, which I thought was a great success, so big ups and ja bless to chelva and irfan...demz be the da menz dem runnin da showz dem like....YEA...lol...it was pretty funny...

Fazia was frisking people as they entered the dance...why? you ask...cause its Campbell...mind you...you could kill a man with a shoelace...but oh well...she was frisking people and then I walk up to her..and she's like..IM SO TEMPTED!!!!...then she pulls out 4 cartons of cigarettes that she confiscated off people...it was SO funny...Im proud of her for not smoking anymore....when I went to see Amy yesterday I had pizza...and yea...it was cheese...I was about to order..and then I was like "SHIT, I cant eat pork"...so I got cheese...oh well..it was still good...Mrs. Vanelli's pizza is good..but pricey...but oh so good

I was talking to Mr. Ibarra..and yea..he gave me a GREAT idea for my magic show...

Idea: Im gonna try and get nick to perform a bit of standup like halfway through my routine...ya know...just to shake it up a bit...get a little variety in there...I thought it was a VERY good idea...it would allow me to wipe all the sweat off me while he's on and im off stage...haha..I gotta run it by him...HOPEFULLY, he'll agree...I dont see why he wouldnt...Im feeding him an audience for him to practice on...he goes to Humber College (la dee da) for Comedy Writing...

Mr. Ibarra was also talking to me about how all those women at the dance were acting like sluts and it disgusted him to no end...which was pretty funny...cause it was true, for the most part anyway...

Oh ya, before I forget...GOOD LUCK BUTTERS!!...he applied for a $60,000 scholarship from TD Canada Trust..its based on community leadership...and nobody is more deserving than Butters...I dont care if ur a poverty striken native, Butters deserves it more than you...GOOD LUCK SIR...

- Shawnathan (so shines a good deed, in a weary world)

So go on love....

"Kill"

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance? (chance?)
Or only one way that it was always meant to be (be)
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain (vain)
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means (means)
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
(Know what you want to say)
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant

I can't help it baby, this is who I am (am)
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel (feel)
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I'm tired of this....

Oh man.. I am literally tired out of my mind now... I mean, dont you hate it when you're dead tired but you really cant do much about it.. you cant sleep.. and yet you dont want to be awake... I really hate that... So it is..3:27am now and i am hella tired but cant sleep.. I am a true insomnic.. i'm just overthinking really.. so I figured that if i spew my thoughts and feelings here then i would be able to get some rest.. Oh man.. 3am tv is messed up... I'm watching the Cell now, (the one with Jlo) and its one messed up movie.. so yea.. Wwhen i was laying on bed i was basically thinking about the past, present and future... as always -.-.. Past.. well i dont really want to go into that.. but present.. I really dont want to go to school tomorrow...actually today.. 2 reasons mainly, 1)Chem and 2)Calc... Chem.. I think we're getting our chem test back and i really doubt i did good. Most of the questions were basked on atomic theory while all i focused my time on was Intermolecular Bonding.... I really have a bad feeling about this... and whats worse is that i want to major in a science feild.. how pitiful is it that a person that wants to major in science cant even do well on chem... BLAH. And for calc.. its embrassing to say this, but i studied 7hrs for a little quiz and yet i still have a bad feeling about it. Its not that i'm a moron... who am i kidding -.-... I AM >________< Gah.. so what happens now i think.. A couple A's and a couple other bad marks.. that wont get me into Western... and to add on this burden i just found out that one of my Fav. Teachers is feeling really ill.. whats more is that I cant even talk to one of my good friends because i cant get in contact with me... Life is so BLAH..what else is on my mind.. hmmmm let me think.. its a surprise to see how much i've changed over the past couple of years. I mean in grade 9,10 i was never really like this.. even in grade 11 i wasnt.. Can it be that I'm growned up and that i'm not navie nor oblivous with that is happening in this world.. how everything isnt always fine and dandy and how things will never turn out the way you want it to. ***I apologize in advance for this blog, its just a rant... and its going to be a little long*** What sucks more is that everynight for the past.... 4,5 months i havent had a night without a nightmare... -.-

I actually got up just to go downstairs is because i wanted to hear some Jimmy eat world..

Hmm so what else happened.. well i can talk about my Day... It started out alright.. i woke up at 1 and went downstairs to make some lunch. I made some curry noodles... I love curry... and sat and watched tv until 3.. I called shawn and told him to call me before he was coming to my house to pick me up for bowling.. But 30 mins later.. he called me and who told me that Jason (his bro) took the car... so i was alittle bummed out.. but i had more study time. So my mom came home from work at like 4pm and Ju,my mom and I went to no frill. We got there and started to shop...in the middle of our food trip i remembered that the reason i wanted to go was because i wanted to get some GinerAl..all i wanted was some G.A...so Ju and I were looking at the different kinds there were and I wanted to get Canada dry.. Ju agreed that that was the best choice but then she went to grap the diet version. I'm all down for diet soda IF I CAN DRINK IT.. you see I'm very sensitive to aspertan (not sure if i spelled it right) and it makes me throw up everytime i drink it.. but julie consisted that we get diet so i called her a 'Dumb Fuck' outloud and everone heard >_________< so i got home.. watched some more telly.. dinner, studyed some more and here we are...Fyi.. the Cell is such a messed up movie.. do they have to make it soo bloody -.-.. but if you want a really good movie then watch Se7en... One of my all time fav. ..back to the cell..ok wtf.. theres this bullet proof glasses that bullets couldent break but a metal rod can..-.-?!..but i'll give you this.. Jlo is one nice actress...i think my parents are getting up.. for some odd reason... maybe i'm making to much noise... but i think its time for me to try and get some rest..

Time: 3:54am

Wind: "Cultivate your hunger for you I realize..Motivate your anger, make them all realize.. Climbing the mountain, never coming down. Breaking through the contents, never falling down. My knees to shaken like i was 12, sneaking out the classroom by the backdoor..a moronal .. but I didnt care.. waiting is wasteing for people like me... Dont Try to look so wise.. dont cry cuz your soo right, dont try to fix with fear because you will hate yourself in the end. You say thats dreams a dream, I say i played the fool..anymore.. You say..just give up my soul...taking time made me fall down ... friction the feeling.. shadow of nothing..still i'm blind if you see theres a rope cuz theres always stairway to the point you see.." 4:01am

A day with the macphailures....and JJ

Today was pretty wicked...I realized my routine for the show for cancer lasts a little longer than an hour...which is awesome...and I talked to Amy..which was even better...and then I did physics..which..wasnt so awesome...but oh well

I was supposed to go to Markham Station with JJ and the Macphailures, but we decided to go to KBBQ instead...which was also pretty wicked...after like 3 hours there, we were pretty much eating cancer off the grill, but oh well...then we left and went to chill at marlon's house...ahh good times...

When I got home..Andrea sent me this message..which, I thought, was kinda sweet...

"an ode to shawn on his refrainig of pork consumption...

S is for the extra strength you'll need without my enzymes
H is for How much i kno you will miss me
A is for Andrea, the last giver of bacon
W is for Wishing it were all a sick sick dream
N is for kNowing that you're giving me up for a good cause......
so i cheated a lil bit on the last one"

Aye thank you kind madame...and...it hurts...but its for a good cause...

- Shawnathan...fighting the good fight, with so many selfless deeds...

Thanks Anonymous...

Thanks anonymous... I really dont know who you are..i have some feeling its Chero or w3rdna..or maybe even amy?=X (sorry shawn >.<, i wont mention her name again) .but it could be anyone really... so thanks again..


'To dry up, to connect with words...But thats my cherry blossom. I want to spread my message to only you. I can hear...the wind of the hero that used to be alive. It's gone with yesterday - I threw it away. To be together with you and laugh..But the memory of protecting and your crucifying song, that is why you have to say goodbye to power. And at this rate, what are we doing? We are parting, why did we forget that? When you realized, the sadness is spread until you are scared of crying...What remains is a milestone, stronly bonded together....'

Ignorance is bliss

"Dangerous To Know"

Some secrets need to be kept
Some stories should never be told
Some reasons shouldn't be understood
They just might turn your blood cold

Who needs all the answers?
Who takes all the chances?
Who said the truth's gonna save you?
When the truth can be dangerous

Like the way I feel
It's all right to steal
What I need from you
Do what I have to do
Say what I have to say
Go where I have to go
And that's dangerous
Dangerous to know

I was a law onto myself
When you found me out on my own
Together nothing was sacred
Together we where alone

Who needs all the questions?
Who lost their direction?
Who said a lie's gonna break you?
When a lie could be dangerous

Like the way I feel
It's all right to steal
What I need from you
Do what I have to do
Say what I have to say
Go where I have to go
And that's dangerous
Dangerous to know

Ignorance is bliss
You're safe when you resist
There's no safety in a kiss like this
It's dangerous
So kiss me
Kiss me

Like the way I feel
It's all right to steal
What I need from
Do what I have to do
Say what I have to say
Go where I have to go
And that's dangerous
Dangerous
Like the way I feel
It's all right to steal
What I need from
Do what I have to do
Say what I have to say
Go where I have to go
And that's dangerous
Dangerous to know

Some secrets need to be kept