We just gotta take our time....

...its like nothing really matters so let's make this moment a crime...

...I know, I know you're left behind...

Well here I am again...I don't really know why I get the urge to make posts on this blog anymore...but it does happen every once and a while. Butters has given up on this blog I think. Last I checked he has no time. When did he ever have time?

Life:

Much has happened since the last post, which was...wow...April 11...which is, in retrospect, the eve of a particularily significant day. Or at least one that use to be significant. I don't really know how I feel on that subject. I've grown a lot since all that shit happened and my relationships with a lot of people (my brother, my parents, my friends) have grown considerably since...but no matter far I get I can never forget. I can never forget what happened. I can never forget the times and those moments burned into my mind. I can never forget in general. You know why? Cause "Friends don't forget friends, not even in 100 years." I was given a gift in gr. 7 I beleive it was, and I cherished it. It was very special to me. But in the heat of the moment, a few years later, I threw it away. Or so I thought. I've recently moved into Markham, and while rummaging through a cabinet searching for things to pack up I stumbled upon a thin sheet of glass. I looked at it and I thought to myself "no, it can't be." I kept searching and in the end, 6 years after the fact, I found that gift, staring me in the face. A little picture frame with Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin looking over a bridge and printed on to the frame reads: "Friends don't forget friends, not even in 100 years." Instead of throwing it away, I decided to hold on to it for the time being. I dunno, maybe 6 years from now I'll find the person who gave it to me...crazier things have happened..

Magic:

Boston Pizza at STC hired me to do walk-around magic every Friday and Saturday from 6 pm to 10 pm...and I couldn't be more pleased...it's such a wicked thing, having a steady gig. And I get so much business from the people I meet at the place. The tips are also ridiculous some nights. One night I made $135 in TIPS. That was a retarded night. Magic and Drama are my only sources of income this summer and it's so fucking great to know that Magic is paying for my school...by the end of the summer I'll be able, if not damn close to being able, to pay for this year's rent and tuition. Speaking of people I've met at Boston Pizza, a producer was there the other night and I had performed for his grandson a few weeks ago, and his grandson called me over to the table to say Hi again...and I ended up showing the producer magic and then he starts telling me about this film that Stanley Tucci (a very well known actor...you'll recognize him if you see him) is filming a movie here in Toronto later on and it involves sleight of hand...so the producer is going to give me a shout this week and if my skintone closely resembles Stanley Tucci's then he's probably going to hire me as a "hand double", which basically means I do the magic for Stanley Tucci on camera. It only goes up from there I can imagine. I'm hoping for the best from this situation. I long for the day when I can sit in a movie theatre and stare up at the screen and announce proudly, "those are my hands!" haha...

Illusion and Intrigue happens here in Toronto tomorrow and Tuesday. Expecting a nice turnout for Tuesday and an okay one for Monday. Thank you in advance to everybody coming out and showing thier support. It means the world to me.

The two productions that are slated for August are well under way now. I spend my entire day, everyday, rehearsing and directing these two shows. I quit my fulltime day job for this, so clearly its not about the money.

I got hired to do Orientation Week at Waterloo again this year, this time its for the Arts faculty and, pardon the capitals and language, I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY. They want me on stage at Fed Hall (the campus club) for an hour and a half. This is for a good 500-600 people. I'm fucking stoked. I'm just waiting for the time when "Shawnathan" appears on the announcement sign in front of the SLC. Getting a picture of that for the books asap haha.

Magic has never been better and it can only go up, now that my entire summer is devoted to it. Some people think that because I don't have a fulltime job I'm just a lazy ass now, but I wake up at 9 everyday and rehearse until 4 or 5 just like a regular day of work. I'm not any less busy than I was when I had my job, it's just that my priorities have shifted.

I have the next 4 school terms down in terms of shows. I've written another one this summer, which was slated for August, but was cancelled due to time constraints. And I'm in the process of writing another one for Winter Term '08, which will be the first show I've written that has a full cast.

Love:

It's magic time. Woman time comes when magic time is at a plateau, which it wont be for a nice while...I miss it though...I was having this conversation with Felix a while back...and it was agreed that the idea of having somebody in your arms that you can trust completely is a one of a kind feeling...I miss that feeling...but hey, love comes and goes, lovers come and go...clearly...it's been a year since those troublesome times...a year is a long time..for an unhappy person...

Life, Part Deux:

I've moved into my new house...and it's a fuckin gangster house...I fought hard, but I have the biggest room, next to the master bedroom of course...and my window leads out on the roof...it's fucking gangster..lay out a blanket and that's a date and a half right there...there's also a little jacuzzi in the basement, with a red heat lamp...red light special anyone?

I've realized recently that I cut out a fucking shitload of people from my life in the past year...I mean wow...I need more than 2 hands to count em all...all the people I've lost touch with simply by association...and who's feelings were hurt in the process? Nobody's...but neither me nor the people I've let go of mean enough to one another to the point where we'd fight to keep something worthwhile...everybody's got too much shit to deal with in their own lives to deal with such trivialities...I know I do now..

I miss missing you...more so, I miss being in love...need to get on that sometime...like I said, I've never felt more alive than when I'm in love...

Cheers all,

- Shawnathan

(who reads this thing anymore anyway?)