My Life in UT

Dr.Mah,


Now this wouldnt be a proper blog unless I post it at UT. I just ate dinner here alone...in public for the first time. I cant say it's the best feeling in the world, but I guess I'll have to live through it. Work is getting alittle overwhelming here and please forgive me for any typo's or repeated words for I am some what in a rush. I have class tonight form 7-9 and I need to get going to get a good seat. My subjects are as followed, Chem,Calc,Plagues and People, Health and the env. and Bio. Seems like a decent load, and it kinda is, but subjects like calc and chem always gets me nervous.

I never did well in highschool with calc and chem, so naturally, in Uni I would be somewhat behind. My week has been eventful I guess. Lots of reading, and busing, something that I am also not use to. I'm already behind in Calc, and it doesnt seem like I can catch up anytime soon. The best new's I've got all week was finding out Shawn is coming down for my B-day. Hopefully Felix can do the same... Plagues and People, as well as Bio is the best classes I've ever taken, besides Food and Nut. in highschool.

During Plagues and People I sat beside Charlotte and after everytime the Prof took a long pasue, or stopped talking I would slow clap. 1 out of 3 times I go the whole lecture thre. to clap with me. The rest of the time I looked like a total dumbass. But charlotte laughed, and yea.. My prof probably hates me, but he's really cool, so lets hope he forgets who I am. Later that night I told Shawn about the slow clap, and it turns out that he did the same.That's boss, In uni and we're still dicking around, *does secret handshake with shawn* Nice...

During calc today I finally understood some stuff. I even called a kid dumb because he asked the prof in the middle of the lecture what a natural Log is. Dumbass...hehe. Near the end, when the prof was wrapping everything up, I started to play with my hair. For those who hasnt seen me for a couple weeks now I shaved off my hair, and for those who care, it's growing in nicely. Soon I will have my mohawk back and with that I can regain my confidence.

My 1st week in Uni has been the longest week of my life. Let's hope it doesnt continue like this. Class is about to start so I'm gonna try and kill time with some readings, since I'm gonna make ithome by 10 tonight and havent taken my nape yet, I doubt I can have enough energy to stay up and read.

(A boring blog for a boring University)
No song this week, But wait for it, I've been writting one for a while now, Think I'm about to post it soon =)

Here we are... (Random thoughts, hope you can catch up)

Dr.Mah

In 5 hrs I will be attending UT for the first time in my life and I'm scared half to death right now... but I guess that's natural. To calm down I went downstairs to get a drink of water and thought to myself... Here we are... We're all distance apart, hours away,but one thing that is close would be the feeling we're all feeling right now. I know that inside we're all scared and excited at the same time. I've never been this nervous before. I've went through surgery, and went on some crazy roller coasters but this is a new feeling. Is it a feeling of a fresh start? Maybe.. But as I lean on my kitchen counter holding my glass of water gazing at my timetable that's just stuck there on the fridge, I was wondering what my friends are doing now (mainly sleeping), but how they're feeling now. Are they as scared as I am, maybe more? And I thought to myself..

I talked to Amy earlier in the day and we discussed many things, from me loving white women, to the white women in waterloo and how amazingly hot they are, but one particular subject caught my attention. Of how Amy, though she misses people back here, doesn't miss her home. So I sit here and wonder, would I be the same? And it came to me. I always complained of how I couldn't afford to move out, how it was too costy, and though that may be true, maybe there was more to that. I'm scared to go to UT, what would give me the courage to move out. I admire those living in rez now, the courage they can mussel out just for their future. Ben told me that he had to go to guelph because it was a better program for him... It was almost like a sacrifice he had to give in order to be successful...

So here we are. All grown ups now, though we'll always be kids at heart. And our age doesn't make us grown ups, but the decisions we make. The decision to stay behind so they wouldn't burden their parents by saving up money living at home. The decision to move out because there's a good opportunity out there waiting for us. The deision to stay back in highschool because they have enough pride and courage to admit that they're not ready or they need a certain course to get into a program they are passionate about. This is will an interesting 4 years ...

Sparks
did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say
you say oh, sing one you know


I promise you this
I'll always look out for you
yeah that's what I'll do


you say ah...
I say ah...


my heart is yours
it's you that I hold onto
yeah that's what I do


I know I was wrong
I won't let you down
oh, yeah I will, yeah I will, yes I will


I say ah...
I cry ah...

yeah I saw sparks
yeah I saw sparks
and I saw sparks
yeah I saw sparks

singing out
la la la la la la (x4)