'Tell yourself, how lucky you are'

Dr.Mah,

It's always at night time I get my thoughts. I'm dead tired, but I just can't sleep. So the title is 'Tell yourself, how lucky you are', a quote I stole from a Seussical song. Why such a title? Well, after finishing up my 'Big' project, I've had alot of time to think and work. Today I worked in the ER, and as always am left amazed at how kind some people are, how people can be an ass and turn a blind eye, and how no matter how hard one tries, they will always be braned as a failure by design.

The ER is not a happy place. People are suffering all the time, and sometimes I dont even feel like going there and helping out. It's a place that just pushes you back as much as you try to get close. Such as today, I woke up at around 11, while my shift begins at 12, and I was sitting in my room for 20 mintues thinking..."Should I even go to work today?" "Would people even notice that I'm there?" Sometimes I apply that thought with my life in general, but I'll save that thought for another post. Needless to say, I made it to the hospital late. I did the usual, went around, checking if everyone was alright, changed some beds, and talk to some nurses. I heard and seen the usual as well, a woman moaning in pain, a worried parent, another case of "She just feel"...douchebags. But around 1 things got alittle "interesting".

Seeing my skin color, I am alittle chinese, sigh I know, so I was asked to translate for a patient. "Alright sure, I've done this many times, always glad to help" I thought to myself, but it was a strange case.

For those who wonder if I'm breaking the confidential rule, the answer is 'No, I'm not. I'm just not allowed to mention any names, other then that I can refer to the person as "this person"'

I was asked to go to this room where I would had to help translate over the phone for someone. See, what happened was that this kid was riding his/her bike and got hit by a car. He/She's alright, but the weird thing is, (fuck it) he didnt know chinese at all. He didn't even understand it, so naturally I had to call his grandparents and tell them what happened. I took down the numbers of his mom's work place and his dad's cell from his grandparents. But before I hung up I was asked by one of the PM's to ask if the boy was slow, as in metally slow.

I dont know about you people.. but that's a hard question to ask someone Y.Y. Well, the answer was yes... so yea. I called his parents and they said they'd come ASAP.

The father came first, and I met him at the door, like I promised. I told him everything the PM's told me and then he saw his son. His patients parents dont speak a lick of english, and the patient only spoke english, and doesnt understand chinese at all, So how can there be communication in that household?. I asked the father that and he starts telling me how nobody talks to him at home. How he doesnt study, how no matter how hard they try, they dont talk to each other. He also told me how they took him to chinese school and tried to teach him chinese, but because of his condition, he couldn't learn anything. He then rants on about how he'll never make it to university, and how he'll never get a great job.

The father is a complete dick

But it was still obvious that he was concern. He kept on asking about his child, and he stay positive about the situation. I told the father to go outside since there was no point in staying and waiting for like an hour.

I went on to continue doing my other jobs until I saw the patient bored out of his mind. So I put everything off and went to talk to him. He's a smarter kid then other's would think. He talks wonders about how he loves playing video games, how he plays alone, and though sometimes you would have to call his name a couple times to get his attention, and wait a mintue or two for a response, it was still an interesting conversation. I went to the Xray room with him because he asked me to, but was not allowed in the room this time.

But while I was waiting outside I saw this old lady. We started talking and she told me how she was in the hospital for 4 weeks, and how they always do checks on her even thought she doesnt think she needs them. After 5 mins, the Xrays were done and he was moved back into the ER. The results were in and there were no broken bones. *phew*

We all have trouble at home, at school, or with friends. But we take everything for granted. We all have atleast one person that loves us out there. It doesn't matter if it's your parents,siblings,grandparents,friends,aunts or uncles. Love is love, and we should all be greatful that we have it. We're all in university now, and it doesnt matter which one we go to, a universities a universites. Each has it's pros and cons. And if you're staying behind, it doesnt matter either. You have the ability to learn, you have the ability to advance. And when it's all said and done, it's always nice to have a friend's shoulder to cry on. Or a friend to laugh with. It's always easy to look at the bad things in life, it takes true courage and wits to look at the good stuff.

"What's this? A optimistic Dr.Mah?"
Fuck no, but whenever something bad happens, just tell yourself "how lucky you are"

Feel better Zahra... I think you're sick? *shrugs*



"Blue And Yellow"
By: The Used

And it's all in how you mix the two
and it starts just where the light exists
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
and it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste my time with you

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste my time with you

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way my hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you

[whispering:]
should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

Untitled

Dr.Mah,

Here we are once again.. it's 3am and I'm suppose to be sleeping, but once again I have become the insomnic one. But this blog will be a personal one, more like a conversation... and I'll try my best to not make any spelling and/or grammer mistakes. I always wanted to write something deep, something like what Redford or Felix can come up with, but it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, ever since the song 'Ex BestFriends' came out, I doubt I have any fans left. But I still have a couple and that's all that matters.

So some may wonder, "What does this person have to say this time?" "It's rather he's bitching about how he lost a girl, or how bad his life is" Well dear friends, this post is not about any of that. I'm laying on my bed getting ready to sleep when I start thinking of the past. I've always been one to dwell to much on something that doesn't deserve to be dwelled upon, not to offend anyone or anything, so I decided to pick up my ipod and start listening to some music. So there I was, laying on my bed listen to 'Photography' by Starting Line. (For those who dont go to Campbell, that was one of the songs used in the slide show during Formal)

So there I was listen to that song.. trying my hardest to sleep. So I close my eyes, and I listen to the rythem of the song. I listen to every cord, to every temple, to every beat of the drum.. and think about grade 9. The up's, the downs... How I met Charlotte, and we departed, and how life moved on. I never had much friends in grade 9. I was just a well rounded person, if I knew you I would hang out with you. Grade 9 was also when I met great friends such as Jenn, Dengy, Krishna, Ken, and Justin. Naturally, after a person would think about grade 9, they would move on to grade 10.

Grade 10 was an awesome year as well, it was when Kings and I got close, before we split apart, and it was the year I met Jamil and was introduced to Brotherhood. Otherwise known as 'The Family' back then. I just watch the video of the Hot mustard eating contest, those were great times. And though I know most of you wouldn't read this... they were great times...thanks.
"Brotherhood" *bows down* "I would just like to thank you all for the wicked times we had, though we all had 'beef' in the pass.. let's just try to forget about them for a mintue or two and just look back on the good times we had together. Cheers"


Grade 11 is a bitter/sweet part of my life. I lost many people I loved, friends,family members, and a very special person. But with that I also gained alot of good friends. Shawn, my best friend. Wilson, my best friend. Billy,Jamil, Nis, Simon, Felix, Nick, Marlon, Adrian, Ken, Dengy, Manda, Jo, Andrew, w3rdna, Park, Ben, Nelly, vee, KD, chero and Robert, my very close friends.

And then there was grade 12. I havent much memory of this year, even though it has been the most recent, I guess because my heads were in the books most of the time. And I spend my time worrying about Uni. And that's when it hit me...
...Highschool is over

It may be obvious for some, but have you ever really thought about it? We all say that we'll stay friends forever, but can we really? I mean, we can try, but we all know that a good portion of people wont keep and touch, and we can't blame them for that, because it's hard. So what am I gabbering about? I'm not sure myself really. I guess I just want to spill my guts out because I'm tired of compressing all this inside. I'll Miss highschool alot....4 years has gone and pass in a flash.
And I'll miss everyone greatly.

I can't write deep and meaningful blogs. And I may never have perfect grammer and/or spelling, but I write blogs that means something me, and that's good enough.

Not my best song, but i've been working on it since forever, migth as well just post it up

"PosterBoy of United Way"
By: SM

Shut the door, and close the lights
You better pretty yourself up tonight
Dont want to make him mad
He'll end up making you sad
"shhh" here he comes
And your knees are feeling numb
But stay strong and put on that smile
Maybe he'll leave you be for a while

Love doesn't come in black and blue
Leave him love
Love isnt worth what you're going through
I dont understand love
Do you like the pain
Explain it love
Have you gone insane

You wait for his call, only to be yelled at
He calls you names and even said you're fat
He takes his frustation on you
And when he feels like it he calls you boo
You're friends are all worried
Must you try to be brave
Are you waiting to be saved...
By another man whom you're not allowed to talk to
Because that's one of his stupid rules?

Love doesn't come in black and blue
Leave him love
Love isnt worth what you're going through
I dont understand love
If pain is what you like
I rather you go from above
And jump down 88 flights

Because it's going to be a Cold Night with or without him
It'll be a Cold Night without that Sin
But it's to late now isn't it?
Becuase now you will fit
Where he belongs down below
Six feet under you will go
Ashes to Ashes, Dawn and Dust
Why do good girls always must
Must feel the tourment, Must feel this Pain
By the PosterBoy of United Way
-13.W

Surprise, Surprise

Dr.Mah,

Quick blog, Congrats on the new job Shawn, and the new haircut, steal me some burgers, pull an Ant =D
Wicked song, been stuck in my head all day, Enjoy!


"Surprise, Surprise"

"Hey there love, let's get to catching up.
'Cause I been thinking those thoughts
that must have slipped my mind
that time that I left you there that night."
I replied, "Let me remind you of the guy
you failed to mention all along.
'Cause your actions have consequences and these are them."

[Chorus:]
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you.
And I probably always will.
I can't afford to make another mistake like this,
'Cause this is more than I can take.
I don't mean to leave angry, this is by your own devise.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.

Hey there babe, don't mean to cut you off,
but I've heard enough lies and you're dying to get caught.
I'll let you go call all your friends.
"Oh my god! Let me describe to you this guy,
his name is Ken, he's in this band that writes such,
awful songs about me all the time."
You're goddamn right!

[Chorus]

Fine, just let me lie here for a while,
'Cause I'll be staying up, yeah hanging up all night.
Oh, I'm spent of all attention that I've given.
To a hopeless case, to a sharp headache, to a choice you make
To the reason why I, to the reason why I say.

[Chorus:]
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you.
And I probably always will.
I can't afford to make another mistake like you.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise.
Surprise, surprise.