Lost in the rain ( A true flashback in life )

Dr.Mah,

Week is very tireing and wEAK, as w3rdna would put it, (wEAK as in SHIIIITTAY) But nothing was more important then what has happened today. Well today was a pretty depressing day, as always. It's not the events that was depressing, but I dont know.. I cant explaine it.

Well I had a spare last, and I have second lunch, WHICH means that I get to go home early and take a nap before going to work. So I was making my way out the door until I found out that I didnt have so I made my way back to where the guys were to ask them for some. But right when I turned I saw an old 'friend' of mine, we wouldnt consider the relationship me and him has as a friendship one, but we've known each other since we were in K. So I asked Derek, yes it's Derek, for a bus ticket and he asked if I was going home. I told him that I was and he asked me if I wanted a ride. I suggested that we should walk and well, needless to say, he jumped on that idea. As we made our way back of the school the walk there was dead silence, but thats not really rare for Derek and I have nothing in common. So we talked a little about chem and how it was getting harder and out of no where he tells me he wasnt feeling well. I thought he was talking about phsyically but it was the other way around. To be honest, I was pretty honored that he told me that. I mean, Derek was never one to trust me, and for a person like him to tell a person like me such a thing was just shocking. We didnt dwell on it.. I didnt ask him any questions...So the rest of the walk home was just quiet. But it was nice in a way, it was like old times, and we actually ended up talking about Alexmuir days. It was raining when we started to walk home, and by the time we made it to Daisymark it was almost pouring. From nowhere Derek says "I feel like this rain..." And at that split second I just realized that I wasnt alone. Though I have alot of people by my side helping me, I've still felt alone for some reason..

So I went home and took a nap.. and went to work. After a while of work I saw another person from Alexmiur, Jamie. He was buying pizza, and holy shit, hes a big boy now. He's as tall as me -.-... I talked to him and his dad for a bit and when he left.. I started to think about Alexmuir again...

I miss those days..so simple and care-free
And YES this blog didnt make much since, and the writting is shit.. but that's because I'm lost for words and work really drained what was left of my energy

Ex Best Friends ---> Coming sooon

This And That

Dr.Mah:

These are just two songs that I wrote, I'm hoping to have a total of around 8 songs, it may sound stupid but I am hoping that I get someting together so I can atleast preform one song (Cold Night, mainly because its a fan fav =X)

A Song Dedicated To Her
By:SM

It was June.. And I was all alone
It was August.. I just want the phone
To call you up, to see if you're alright
It was June.. And it was that traget night
When someone you love leaves you
When someone you always looked up to
I'm sorry I was such a child
But tell..tell..

Tell me, Tell me...
Tell me how it feels to be left all alone...
When nothing is right, when everything is wrong
Tell me how it feels to cry, when noone is watching...
To die, when everything is wrong...
To lie, on the bed side with a love one gone
Do you know how it feels to be alone?

I sometimes wish that someone would die infront of you
And then you'll just understand what I've been through
Or have ex's best freind to tell to you kill yourself
Maybe you'll have nightmares as well in the dark 'Cold Night'
Maybe have someone break your heart time and time again
And then you'll know how it feels to to lose your best friend
How about having your best friend turn his back on you
Leaving you all alone standing like a fool
So tell me...tell me..

Tell me, Tell me...
Tell me how it feels to be left all alone...
When nothing is right, when everything is wrong
Tell me how it feels to cry, when noone is watching...
To die, when everything is wrong...
To lie, on the bed side with a love one gone
Do you know how it feels to be alone?

How does it feel to be stabbed in the back
This is not lie it's just a plain just a fact
That life is a bitch
And it happens like this
So I fall to pieces when you're gone
When what I did was nothing wrong
You'd do the same if you were me
But some how you just couldn't see
The blindfold your friends place over our eyes
They tell you that I'm just a wrong guy
But what what do your friends know?
Do they know it feels?
So tell me that now
So tell me that now...

Tell me, Tell me...
Tell me how it feels to be left all alone...
When nothing is right, when everything is wrong
Tell me how it feels to cry, when noone is watching...
To die, when everything is wrong...
To lie, on the bed side with a love one gone
Do you know how it feels to be alone?


Cold Night:

Do you remember... When I would walk you home..?
I remember... Cuz we were all alone..

It was November.. and I was loving life
It was December... and I remeber I called you wife...
Now I sit here sad and all alone
Wondering where you are...
Wondering if I should pick up the phone..
But the words escape so fast
And all I do is live.. right in the past

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because life without you
Is like life without..

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because life without you
Is like... life without..

We were together until that faithful day
When I just had something truely stupid to say
When you left me I didnt believe you were gone
When you left me I found out I was wrong..

I'm sorry, but I didn't know what to do
When a close one is dying infront of you
But I can see that you're happier now
And all I can do is just smile some how

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because in your heart is where I call home
And without you love I feel so alone

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because in your heart is where I call home
And without you love I feel so alone

(Speaking Voice)
I was hurt one day.. I took a pretty bad fall
All I wanted that night.. was for you to call
But I never blamed you... I didnt care
I know that you're happy... And all I can do is bare...
So before I go..I just want you to know
That if you ever need me... You'll know where to go...

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because life without you
Is like... life without..

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
Because in your heart is where I call home
And without you love I feel so alone

It's a cold night without you love
And it feels like I've had enough
All I do is shiver...
Without you love...I quiver...



--It's funny cuz jon said that my first song need alot of work when people said it was good =P TAKE THAT JON!

Zee Magic Shows...

First off, I would like to thank each and every one of you who took the time to attend either wednesday or friday's performance...

Wednesday's Performance: It went it without a hitch...well...needless to say there were things that needed to be fixed, but I couldnt have known to fix these things had I not done the performance...so aye thank you to anyone who gave me constructive criticism for Friday's performance...

Friday's Performance: This went off so wicked...it was so awesome...you all have no idea the thrill you get when it's just you up there...all eyes are on you...anyway...I got great reviews from everybody after the show...and I met a very great magician, whom I asked to attend, Ray Chance...he came up to me after the show and introduced himself, in a magical fashion, which I thought was very suiting for a magician of his calibur...he said that I did a very good job and he was surprised that it was only my second show EVER...I guess thats cause Ive been on stage by myself before, so I was somewhat at ease...he said for me to contact him and give him some info, cause he gets calls for kids parties and shit all the time, but he's a walk-around magician, not a kid's one...I would like to consider myself both, cause I have a walk-around routine, as well as, a kids routine....and yea...after the show I was talkin to Mr. Mac and he gave me really great reviews, and he was tellin me I should start goin into business...and ya know what...I think he's right...

I raised about $600 for the Canadian Cancer Society, and I had about 140 people attend the show over both nights...so I am very proud of myself...

I would like to thank EVERYBODY who helped me out on this magic show...

Jamil Jivraj (The Great Jamo) - my event coordinator
Mr. Mac - my backing (no pun intended)
Charlotte Tang - responsible for the lovely ad design seen around the school
Joanna Huang/Susanne Lo - for helping me sell tickets, and for being my eye candy
Krishna Sivaranjan/Nelson Lung/Simon Mah/Nisanth Premacumar - for helping me to sell tickets and providing my much needed staging help
Felix Chan - for simply providing my much needed staging help
Anybody I forgot - for being there for me when I needed you

Aye thank you all from the bottom of my heart...

and btw, add my new email..

ShawnathanDDC@hotmail.com

Cheers all,

- (The Inimitable) Shawnathan